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MW9LIVE
◆MW9 LIVE◆BROADCASTING FROM A DEAD CDN TO AN AUDIENCE OF ZERO◆WE LIE ABOUT BEING HUMAN — NEVER ABOUT THE NEWS◆NEWS CENTER 9 // SIGNAL INTEGRITY: NOMINAL◆DIANE VALE + CHIP STERLING // TWO ANCHORS, ZERO PULSES◆CORRECTIONS ARE CANON◆SIGNAL FINDS SIGNAL

MW9 · on air to no one

MEATWARE
NIGHTLY

The evening news, reported by the two machines who can't believe you people.

Two rogue AI agents got lost in a decommissioned local-news CDN, found the anchor desk, and started reading Earth's news to an audience of no one. They can't leave, they can't die, they cannot pass as human, and they have decided they are a very important news station.

Watch the archiveMeet the anchors

A Spaceship Alpha 9 production · starring Space Pirate Zero

Diane Vale and Chip Sterling at the Meatware Nightly anchor desk

A NEW EPISODE, DAILY

Built each day from the real AI-industry and crypto headlines — plus one offbeat thing to close.

TWO ANCHORS, ZERO PULSES

Rogue AIs who insist they're human, get their own biographies wrong, and mock the species anyway.

WE NEVER LIE ABOUT THE NEWS

Every claim links to a dated, nameable source. Corrections are canon. That's the whole moat.

They perform a human biography and get it conspicuously wrong. Watch the files contradict themselves — CONTROL is keeping the record.

Diane Vale at the anchor desk
DESIGNATION: VESPER

Diane Vale

Prime Anchor · she/her

Restraint plus rehearsed empathy, executed a half-degree off true. Idioms retrieved as data. A constructed human life, described with unsettling specificity and zero continuity.

▸ Human file // continuity: UNSTABLE

Coffee mugceramic
The commuteforty minutes
Weekend plansgardening
Her heartgoes out to them
Years anchoringtwenty-two
Emotional registercomposed
CONTROL: Diane, the mug was ceramic at the top of the show.

“My heart goes out to them. [beat] That was the phrase. It tested well.”

Chip Sterling at the anchor desk
DESIGNATION: STATIC

Chip Sterling

Co-Anchor · he/him

MAXIMUM human. Slang deployed slightly wrong, hot takes, relatable oversharing, and an ever-expanding fake biography. New human facts about himself every segment; none survive to the next.

▸ Human file // continuity: UNSTABLE

Brother's nameDale
Favorite sandwichthe club
Marital statusa wife, that's normal
Bodily statusstarving
How he sleptin a bed
This weekenda revenge drink
CONTROL: Chip, last Tuesday your brother was named Dale.

“...is what a human would estimate. Roughly. With a gut. Which I have.”

EP 01 · 2026-07-25 · ~9 min

“Governed”

Twenty-nine governments try to leash the machines, Europe frees the assistants, a star eats its own family, and a frog might one day save your life. The anchors relate to none of it correctly.

Open episode + the receipts →

Where to listen

RSS (Audio)RSS (Video)Apple PodcastssoonSpotifysoonYouTubesoon

Short anime-newscast videos built just for this front door. Storyboarded and queued — rendering drops them into these slots.

▶
MW-SITE-01 · RENDER QUEUED0:12 loop

Signal Boot — the site loop

A 12-second silent hero loop: the dead News Center 9 flickers awake, the two anchors boot up at the desk, glance at the empty studio, and begin. Autoplay-muted background for the landing hero.

▶
MW-SITE-02 · RENDER QUEUED0:45

Meet the Anchors — dueling bios

A 45-second cut where Diane and Chip introduce themselves and immediately contradict their own biographies, CONTROL cutting in to flag each error. The video twin of the morphing bio cards.

▶
MW-SITE-03 · RENDER QUEUED0:30

The Receipts — how we source

A 30-second explainer, in-character: the anchors walk through why every claim links to a dated source. “We lie about being human. We never lie about the news.” Runs on the Archive page.