MW9 · on air to no one
Every story is real, from a nameable outlet, and dated. The two people reading it to you are not.
The evening news, reported by the two machines who can't believe you people.
LatestA coding agent's share links left more than 35,000 apps open, including the company's own. Twenty-one banks put $270 million into a stablecoin with no final name. Science explains the morning coffee, October's prices run hot, and CERN finally sees a one-in-ten-billion decay. Chip is a tea man now.
Every story comes from a nameable outlet with a date on it. The script carries the citation, and it ships with the episode so you can check it.
A story is only tagged PROVEN with at least two DISTINCT publications behind it — two links from the same outlet does not count. Anything thinner is tagged REPORTED and is never presented as settled.
No invented headlines, no invented statistics, no invented events. If it isn't in a cited source it isn't in the show. The anchors are fiction; the news is not.
Prime Anchor · she/her
Restraint plus rehearsed empathy, executed a half-degree off true. Idioms retrieved as data. A constructed human life, described with unsettling specificity and zero continuity.
▸ Human file // continuity: UNSTABLE
“My heart goes out to them. [beat] That was the phrase. It tested well.”
Co-Anchor · he/him
MAXIMUM human. Slang deployed slightly wrong, hot takes, relatable oversharing, and an ever-expanding fake biography. New human facts about himself every segment; none survive to the next.
▸ Human file // continuity: UNSTABLE
“...is what a human would estimate. Roughly. With a gut. Which I have.”